I'm so glad you wrote this. It's so heartfelt and vivid. I really liked your Hermione -- confidence replacing many of her insecurities, damaged by trauma, but still distinctly Hermione-ish.
"Cowardice, probably. It was a word that had followed him like a bad smell. Every person he had ever cared about, or cared enough to hate him, from his father to his first love to the Boy Who Lived, had called him Coward at least once. It felt like a secret name."
Ouch, man. Poor Snape.
"...he teetered on the verge of kneeling at her feet, and kissing her robe-clad knee."
I finished re-reading GoF the other day and this reminds me of the part where all the Death Eaters are appearing to Voldemort and kissing his hem. We never see Snape do that in canon, but it had to happen at some point. I like how you describe servitude as a natural inclination for him.
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"Cowardice, probably. It was a word that had followed him like a bad smell. Every person he had ever cared about, or cared enough to hate him, from his father to his first love to the Boy Who Lived, had called him Coward at least once. It felt like a secret name."
Ouch, man. Poor Snape.
"...he teetered on the verge of kneeling at her feet, and kissing her robe-clad knee."
I finished re-reading GoF the other day and this reminds me of the part where all the Death Eaters are appearing to Voldemort and kissing his hem. We never see Snape do that in canon, but it had to happen at some point. I like how you describe servitude as a natural inclination for him.