Fic: For Reasons Unknown Part 1

[secretlypadfoot.livejournal.com]

Title: For Reasons Unknown
Author: secretlypadfoot
Prompt Number: #246 submitted by carolinelamb
Kink Showcased: Amnesia (Yes, you read that right.)
Rating: NC-17
Pairing(s): Sirius Black/Severus Snape
Summary: AU/Post-war: Sirius returns from The Veil without any memories of his former self and is forced to spend time with Severus Snape. Of course, it’s only natural that things get complicated.
Content Notes/Warnings: None. Sorry. :/
Word Count: 18,143
Author's Notes: This prompt got away from me and turned into this monster fic when I wasn’t looking. Many thanks go to my spouse for being there for me, despite her great dislike for this pairing. (She’s crazy!) And large buckets full of love and thanks to kjmom1 for being my cheerleader. Without her this story would never have gotten finished. Last, but certainly not least, thanks goes to 13alias31 for being a wonderful beta and taking on this monster of a fic so last minute. Any remaining mistakes are my own.



He blinked awake, consciousness returning slowly as his mind rose from a dark pit of nothingness. His heart rapidly picked up pace, and a sense of panic enveloped him. He needed something. Something was supposed to be in his hand, something important—a weapon—his wand? He sat up, franticly searching, barely taking in his surroundings as he tried to squash down his rising anxiety. He was in a bed, and he quickly kicked the covers off himself, the panic suddenly gone, only to be replaced with confusion. Where was he? What was he doing? Who was he, for that matter?

His heart still pounded against his chest, as he took in the four white walls surrounding him, the crisp white sheets on the bed he sat on, and the empty beds that also took space in the room. He knew there was a word for this place, and he knew what the word was as it sat on the tip of his tongue, he just couldn’t place it at the moment. He looked down at himself; the only thing hiding his decently was a thin one piece gown, held together by a knot in the back.

The door to the room suddenly opened, alarming him. He sat on the bed wishing he had his wand, even though he wasn’t sure he would know how to use it at the moment. A young man with finely cut brown hair, dressed in white robes, and holding a clipboard and quill stood in front of him and smiled. “Oh good, Mr. Black, you’ve awoken.”

Mr. Black? Was that him? He stared dumbly at the man in front of him.

“I’m Healer Gregory, do you know where you are?” The man asked him.

The word healer struck some bells in the back of his sub-consciousness, he tried to grasp at them, but they quickly darted away. He shook his head.

“You are at St Mungo’s Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries.” The healer said, making a note with the quill on the clipboard. “What’s your name?” He then asked.

Sirius didn’t know, aside from the man calling him Mr. Black. His chest restricted, and once again he felt overcome with panic. Why didn’t he know his name? He should know his name.

The healer was suddenly distant, something was wrong. He looked down at the clipboard, making a note, and asked, “Do you know what day it is?”

He searched his mind for an answer, but he couldn’t find one. He found it suddenly difficult to maintain his breathing. He looked at the healer, sure he looked just as fearful as he felt, and shook his head.

“It’s ok, if you don’t remember Mr. Black, this is normal.” The healer said it like practiced words, flowing off his tongue with ease. “Just take a deep breath now.”

He tried to take a single, deep breath, instead gasping in several lungfuls of air, trying to calm himself.

The healer pulled out a stick from his robes and pointed it at him. He noticed it was a wand immediately. “Mr. Black, I’m going to cast a small spell on you, it will relax you and allow you to breath.”

Frantically he nodded his head, he needed to breathe or he would die, and he didn’t want to die. The healer waved the wand and said what he recognized as a spell. The wave of panic was washed away with a sense of relief, he could breath evenly now

“Are you alright now, Mr. Black?”

He fell back against the bed, letting out a sigh, nodding at the healer.

“Do you know what this is?” The healer held up his wand for him to see, and he nodded.

The healer made another note on his clipboard. “What is it called?”

He opened his mouth to talk, “A wand.” He said, the words coming out as a croak, as if he hadn’t used his voice in years.

Healer Gregory let out the smallest sigh of relief, which would have escaped his notice had he not been looking directly at him. The healer wrote more on his clipboard.

“Do you remember what happened to you?”

“No,” he answered, using his voice now that he knew that he could.

“I’m going to let you rest now, Mr. Black, this must be very stressful for you.” The healer put his wand away and left him alone in the room, with no answers aside from the fact that he was in a hospital and his name was Mr. Black.

He let out a sigh as he closed his eyes. The healer had said this was normal, so perhaps when he woke up this would all have seemed as a dream to him, and he would remember his name and know who he was.

When he woke up a second time he knew where he was, but he still did not know who he was. He sat up with a sinking feeling in his stomach. How long would he be like this?

The door to the room opened once again, this time a young man with glasses, a mop of untidy black hair, and a huge smile came into the room, quickly followed by Healer Gregory.

“Sirius!” The boy with the glasses and smile nearly shouted. He was overly excited, as if he was anxious to cross the distance of the room and give him a hug. He felt sad that he could not remember this man who obviously remembered him, but excited himself for the new information, which he quickly grasped.

“Sirius?” He asked in his croaky voice.

“As I said, Mr. Potter,” Healer Gregory spoke. “He doesn’t seem to remember anything. All we know is that he is, in fact, aware of the wizarding world.”

Mr. Potter nodded, annoyed at the healer. ‘Yes, I understand that,” he came over to the side of his bed and pulled out a wand from his own pocket, summoning a chair and taking a seat. Sirius wasn’t fazed by the use of magic, and Mr. Potter smiled at him.

“I know you don’t remember me, Sirius.” He said, still grinning from ear to ear. “But I’m so glad you’re alive. I’m so glad to see you. You can’t even begin to imagine how happy I am to see you.”

No, he really couldn’t. This man seemed to know him, and if he was going to get any questions answered, he figured it would be from him.

“What is my name?” He asked, really wanting to get that one out of the way.

“You’re name is Sirius Orion Black.” He answered. “And I’m Harry Potter.”

Now that Sirius knew his name, he had several more questions to ask, and had hardly any idea where to start. He tried the next most puzzling. “What happened to me? Why can’t I remember?”

The smile on Harry’s face faltered and he gave the healer a glance. Sirius turned to look at Healer Gregory, who looked between the two of them uncomfortably.

“Uhm,” Harry said, bringing Sirius’ attention back to him. “It’s a lot to explain, Sirius. There was a fight and you got hit with a spell and fell behind a veil. We thought you were gone.”

Gone? What was that supposed to mean?

“There’s a lot to tell you, Sirius, and I promise that I will.” Harry gave him a worried look. “But right now we’re going to work on bringing you home. The healer said the best thing we could do to try and get your memory back is to try and trigger it.”

Sirius looked to Healer Gregory who nodded. “Yes, Mr. Black, we have diagnosed you with a critical case of amnesia. It’s fortunate for all of us that you are aware of the magical world, as it will make things slightly easier. The best thing we can do for amnesia patients is try to trigger memories. Going places that were familiar, seeing people you would know, looking at pictures, doing things that might hold a significant value to you.”

Sirius nodded in understanding. So they were going to try and make him remember, possibly answering all his questions.

Healer Gregory continued, “We can’t be certain as to what caused your memory loss, as we’ve never had a case like this, but we theorize that it might be caused by extreme trauma. Our hope is that in time you will regain your memory.”

“Right, and how long might that take?” Sirius asked.

“There’s no way to tell, Mr. Black. It could be days, weeks, months, even years. There’s also the possibility that you will never regain your memory.”

“Wait, I thought you said it would come back.” Harry stood up, knocking his chair over in his haste. “You said we would just have to wait it out.”

“I’m sorry if you misunderstood, Mr. Potter, but there still is a chance that he will not get his memory back.”

Sirius sat there, oddly calm about the news that he might never regain his memory. Of course he was hopeful, but at this point, he really didn’t see any point in freaking out. “It’s ok,” Sirius said silencing the two men. “I’ll be fine, I’m sure. Just take me home and we’ll just wait and see what happens.”

Healer Gregory and Harry both looked at him, Harry calmly picked up his chair and sat back down.

“What do you suggest we do, Healer Gregory?”

“We could admit him and keep a close eye on him for a week or two, or you can just take him home, Mr. Potter, and call upon us if you need anything.”

“I think I’d much rather go home.” Sirius spoke up causing both Harry and the Healer to turn their attention towards him. “I mean, I don’t really see the point sitting around here, doing nothing, I’d personally much rather do that in the comfort of my own home, even if I don’t remember my own home. And I really have no choice but to trust you.” He looked at Harry. “You either have my best interest at heart, or you don’t. I just have to believe that you won’t take me home and slip me the knife in the night. You’re not some sort of murderer, are you? You’ve never killed anyone before, have you?”

Harry coughed a little and gave Sirius a nervous smile. If he was trying to be reassuring he failed, but Sirius had no time to ask.

“Alright, Mr. Black, as you wish. Come with me, Mr. Potter and we’ll begin the process to get him discharged.”

~*~

Severus Snape stood on the steps of Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place, dreading having to go inside. He hoped place wouldn’t be crowded with overly ecstatic people, all full of excitement for Sirius Black, who was not dead, but alive. It was great news to everyone especially after all of the losses in the war. But it also created a false hope for everyone. If Sirius Black could come back from the dead, then maybe others, like Fred or Lupin could as well.

Severus knew better than that, however. People did not come back from the dead, at least, not without some sort of dark magic. Black was no exception to this rule. The only plausible explanation would be that Black himself had never died. When he had been hit by Bellatrix with that spell, it did not kill him. He had simply fallen behind the veil and spent the next three years trying to get back out. And it would seem that Black had found a successful way of getting out, his memory the only sacrifice.

He really had no desire to be here, and had he not received an awkwardly vague letter from Potter requesting his urgent assistance, he would still be sitting in a dark booth at the Leaky Caldron, where he had taken up residence, hiding from society and throwing back his whiskey.

Be that as it may, had it not been for Potter, he himself would not be alive. He had been ready to die in the war, feeling that when he died all of his life debts would be paid. Nagini had bitten him and he allowed the pain to take over into darkness. Potter, the impudent brat that he was, had other plans, and had set out to save Severus.

Not only did Potter save Severus’ life, but he guaranteed his freedom. There was barley any resting period after the war and the ministry took quick action to put death eaters in Azkaban. Potter pulled some strings and made it so Severus’ was one of the first trials and then he had testified for him, doing everything within his power to prove Severus’ innocence. In the end he had received a full pardon.

So now, Severus did owe the boy, therefore ignoring letters from Potter, however vague they may be, was not much of an option.

Severus raised his hand and rapped it against the ancient wooden door, waiting impatiently for an answer. Several moments longer than he thought was necessary, Potter opened the door himself, a tired smile crossing his face as he admitted Severus inside.

“Severus, it’s great to see you,” Potter said in way of greeting.

Severus glared at him for the use of his given name. He missed the days when he could tower of the boy to instill the fear in him. But those days were long since over. Potter now stood even height, give or take a few centimeters, and he no longer had a fear or hatred for Severus since he had viewed his memories. In fact, all Potter seemed to have for him these days was a warped sense of hero-worship. He began calling him by is given name, despite Severus’ great distaste for it, invited him to several Weasley social gatherings, and was under some illusion that they were friends.

“I received your letter, what is it you want?” Severus asked, hoping that he could make this a short visit.

Potter closed the door behind Severus. “Did you want something to drink?” he asked ignoring the question.

“No Potter, I’d rather not be here longer than necessary.” Severus replied, having little choice but to follow when Harry began down the hallway.

“That’s fine; I don’t want to keep you. Mrs. Weasley and Ron are in the kitchen with Sirius.” Harry said as he led the way into the living room. “Are you sure I can’t get you anything?”

Severus raised an eyebrow in response. “No Potter, now just tell me why you called me here.”

“About that,” Potter smiled nervously. “Why don’t you sit down?” He himself sat down on the over stuffed sofa.

With an agitated sigh, Severus sat down in an armchair across from him. He looked at Potter expectantly, waiting for him to explain.

“Right, well.” Potter slapped his hands together as he started. “Sirius seems to be adjusting well. He’s actually really calm about the whole thing and it almost seems like the whole memory loss doesn’t even faze him. But then again, we can’t really tell what he’s thinking, so maybe he is having a hard time, but is just really good at fooling us.”

“Get to the point, Potter.”

“Yes, I know.” Potter sighed. “The thing is, everyone is really busy right now. I mean, it’s only been a couple of weeks since the war ended. I’ve personally been busy with the press and stupid interviews and I’ve also been helping out a lot with death eater trials. I’ve got the Malfoy’s trial coming up and I just haven’t got the time to watch Sirius.”

Severus raised an eyebrow, waiting for Potter to continue.

“And the Weasley’s are all still grieving and Hermione is in Australia looking for her parents. I’d ask Andromeda but she has Teddy, and she can’t take care of both at once.”

“What is it exactly you want me to do, Potter?” Severus cut him off impatiently, having a safe prediction as to what it was Potter was asking.

“Do you think you could watch him? You know, just during the days and keep him company. Teach him some basic magic too, since he knows all about it, and the healer says it might just come to him naturally.”

Severus looked to Potter, disbelievingly, there was no way Harry didn’t know the history between the two men, he had seen the memories, and he had heard the stories. Just because Sirius couldn’t remember, didn’t mean Severus couldn’t. “Let me get this straight, Potter, you want me to baby sit Black? Why can’t Black just take care of himself? He may have forgotten his past, but he’s still an adult man...”

There was no way he was going to willingly agree to this, and Potter was insane to think that he would.

“Not baby sit, no.” Potter said with a sense of nervousness. “Just keep him company and maybe teach him a bit of magic. He doesn’t really know how to take care of himself right now. He’s forgotten how to cook, and really, he’d be so lonely by himself. He needs the company.”

“And you expect me, of all people to be the one to do this?” Severus asked, already knowing the answer. Of course Potter expected that.

“As I said, everyone else is busy.” Potter replied sheepishly.

Severus glared darkly. So that was it, was it? He was simply the best candidate based on the fact that he had no life?

“Have you forgotten the fact that Black and I loathe one another, Potter?” He asked, hoping that he could get the idiot to grasp why this was so absurd.

“Severus, only you hate him.” Potter replied, seeming almost as desperate to get Severus to understand. “He doesn’t remember any of that. Sirius doesn’t remember you or the past.”

“That hardly matters when I do, Potter.” Severus argued. He got to his feet, unable to sit still any longer.

“That was all in the past, can’t you just forget about it and forgive him?”

“No,” Severus snapped irritably, his hand giving a twitch towards his wand. He longed to hex Potter into his proper place.

“Severus, please.” Potter got to his feet as well, looking earnestly at him. “There’s no one else who can do it.”

“Then find someone else!” Severus snapped at him.

“Who!? I’ve racked my brain trying to think of someone else, but no one else is available. You are the only one who can do it Severus.” Potter met his gaze. “Please, Severus.”

Severus could see he was getting pulled in further and further into this, and he was growing tired of the spat between them. However, Potter wasn’t going to back down, so it was best now that Severus weighed his options.

On the one hand, there was the spending time with Black, which would, without a doubt, prove to be unpleasant. On top of that, being under the ever watchful eye of Harry Potter would quickly get on his nerves.

However, on the other hand, Severus was a bitter man and he could use the time to come up with ways to humiliate and belittle Black. Payback, if you will. Even if Black didn’t remember ever being an arse to him, there would certainly be some satisfaction out of humiliating him, or using him in some way to his advantage. Of course, all of this would have to be done when Potter wasn’t around.

Even looking at the pros and cons, Severus wasn’t sold on the idea, but there was no point in arguing anymore.

“When am I to start?” Severus asked, making sure to glare at Potter just so he could see how displeased he was with the entire situation.

Potter lit up with a grin. “Tomorrow, if you can,” Potter answered. “Thank you so much for doing this, Severus.”

“Don’t get overly sentimental about this Potter. As you’ve stated, everyone else is busy and I have nothing better to do. And I’ll only be doing this until Black can take care of himself.”

“That’s fine,” Potter said, still grinning. “I understand, Severus. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Severus rushed his goodbye and let himself out, not in the brightest of moods.

~*~

Sirius sat in the living room of Grimmauld Place in an over stuffed armchair near the window, which lacked a view. Across from him, sitting on the sofa, was a woman with long, light brown hair tied up in a lose bun on her head. In her arms she held a baby boy with cherry red hair and was currently feeding him from a bottle.

He had been introduced to the pair a few days prior. Harry had introduced the woman as his cousin Andromeda and the baby was named Teddy. Sirius had been amazed by the baby who could change his facial features along with hair and eye color. Andromeda had said it was something Teddy’s mother could do, at which point everyone grew quiet and looked sad. Something Sirius didn’t quite understand, but no one would say anything about it to him. He still hadn’t met Teddy’s mother or father, had only heard their names, and he wasn’t sure if he ever would.

Sirius sighed and tapped his fingers along the arm of the chair in complete boredom. It had been like this since Harry had brought him here, to this old house that creaked and moaned, with cobwebs in the corners, which apparently had been his childhood home, if the door with his name on it was anything to account for.

Harry had said he was very busy, with what he didn’t let Sirius in on, and so every day someone would be there to ‘keep him company’. Sometimes it was Andromeda and the baby, other days it was a red headed woman who cooked him way too much food and made him eat it all. There was also a beautiful blonde woman with a thick accent Sirius couldn’t place, or hardly understand for that matter. But even without his memory Sirius wasn’t daft. He knew these people were just watching him and keeping him out of trouble. He was just floating between whoever was available. They all treated him like a child that needed to be sheltered from the big, bad world out there.

Andromeda finished feeding the baby and switched to burping him. She gave Sirius a tight smile and looked over to the door for what Sirius had observed as probably the 100th time since she had showed up this morning. He had asked her what she was expecting and she had smiled at him and told him to just wait.

He had been waiting for hours and the boredom was slowly killing him. He wondered if it had been this painful the last time he died.

When he had first arrived here, still rather confused and dazed, Harry had sat him down and briefly went over what had happened to him and told him that he had died. Harry had told him he had been in some heroic battle with some crazy witch, who he wouldn’t name, and then when Sirius tried to ask more questions, Harry quickly averted the conversation to something else.

Every conversation he had had been like that. As soon as he started asking questions the topic was quickly changed or all together dropped and the person would busy themselves with something else. They were keeping secrets from him, having hushed conversations in corners, and everyone seemed sad for one reason or another. Yet no one would fill him in, probably too afraid that his poor memory-less mind couldn’t handle it. It didn’t make sense to him why they would keep him in the dark, regardless of what they did or didn’t say, he wasn’t going to remember.

Teddy burped, pulling Sirius out of his revere and he watched as she began to softly sing and rock the baby to sleep. Sirius found himself lulled by the sound and was beginning to nod off when he heard the front door open. He sat up straighter in his seat and wiped away the bit of drool that had somehow made it down his chin.

Harry came into the room, wearing a pair of dirty robes and a tired look on his face. He smiled at Andromeda when Teddy began to stir back awake. “Sorry. Did I wake him?”

“He wasn’t quite asleep yet,” Andromeda smiled back. “He’s easier to settle down when he’s in his own bed.”

“You can head home if you’d like.” Harry went over and grabbed Teddy’s little hand. “Severus will be arriving shortly.”

“Are you sure, Harry?” Andromeda got to her feet, giving Sirius a side long glance and then looked back to Harry, hesitant.

Sirius had heard the name Severus a couple of times from Harry, mostly when he was talking to others. He hadn’t yet met him, but if he was to go by what Harry said about the man, he sounded pretty great.

“No, it’s alright.” Harry replied. “I’ll be able to handle it if anything goes wrong. But I doubt anything will. I trust Severus.”

Sirius listened in on their conversation. It seemed today would be the day he would get to meet the man that Harry was so keen to worship. Sirius vaguely wondered if the man was going to be his new babysitter.

“Are you sure, Harry?”

“Go home.” Harry replied. “And get this little guy down for a nap.” He pinched Teddy’s cheek softly. “We’ll be fine, I promise. I’ll owl you if I need anything.”

She nodded and gathered up her and Teddy’s things. “Goodbye, Sirius. I’ll see you later.” She went over and kissed him on the cheek, Teddy grabbed his hair and for a moment they struggled to get him free before she and the baby were free to go.

“Have you had lunch yet?” Harry asked as soon as they were gone.

Sirius nodded. Andromeda had been sure to feed him before the baby. Though he believed he was more than capable of making himself a sandwich. Sure, the first time he’d done it he’d put jam on a sandwich with mustard, and since then he’d been dubbed incapable of making his own food. Hence: the babysitters.

“That’s good, but I’m starving.” Harry headed for the kitchen, stopping in the doorway to make sure Sirius was following.

That was another thing that got on his nerves. Save for the time when he was in bed at night, or his brief 15 minute showers, he never got to be alone.

With a sigh, Sirius followed Harry down to the kitchen. He sat down at the table as Harry set out to find food.

“So…” Sirius said breaking the awkward silence.

“Right,” Harry sat down with a plate of leftovers that Mrs. Weasley had made the other day. He pulled out his wand and heated it back up with a simple spell. “How are you doing, Sirius?”

Sirius sighed. He had been hoping that Harry would clue him in on what was going on with this Severus guy, but Harry seemed to think him to inept to understand, opting for another choice in conversation.

Sirius told Harry about his boring day as Harry ate. The man looked thoroughly bored with the conversation, and Sirius was too. He drabbled on about nothing in particular until they were alerted about a knock on the front door.

Harry rushed to get up, and in excitement, Sirius did too.

“Wait here,” Harry told him and headed up the stairs before Sirius could even think of protesting.

Sirius sat back down, feeling a bit put out. Luckily he didn’t have to wait long, however, for Harry to return. Behind him a man nearly the same height as Harry followed in behind him. He wore black robes that matched the color of his greasy hair. On his face he wore a scowl and looked far from pleased to be here. He was not the kind of person Sirius would have expected after listening to Harry talk about the man.

“Sirius,” Harry began. “This is Severus Snape.”

As courtesy allowed it, Sirius got up to his feet and went around the table to extend his hand towards the man. “Hi, I’m told I’m called Sirius.”

Severus stared down at his extended hand, a sneer on his face. He looked up to glare at Sirius.

Sirius looked back at him; sure he only had a look of confusion on his face. Harry had really made this guy out to be some great hero, but he really just seemed like a prick.

“Severus,” Harry said in almost a scolding manner.

With a roll of his eye, Severus took Sirius offered hand and gave it a shake, squeezing Sirius’ fingers more than he thought necessary. Sirius took his hand back, flexing his fingers.

“Sirius,” Harry continued. “Severus is going to be keeping you company for a few days.”

Sirius watched the glare leave him and direct itself at Harry. He almost wanted to glare himself. Harry’s tone was one you would normally use on a toddler, not a grown man with amnesia.

“Honestly Potter, I still don’t understand why you’re having me do this. He's a grown man and more than capable of taking care of himself. Just talk to him like he's the same man he was before and maybe, just maybe, he'll get his memory back sooner.”

Harry’s face flushed red with embarrassment and Sirius couldn’t help but smile at this man. He seemed to be the only one who fully understood him.

Harry cleared his throat and took on a more adult tone. “Right… Well, Severus is also going to teach you a bit of magic, Sirius. If you’d like that…”

It was an absurd question. He’d been trying to ask for as much since he’d been brought home. He had asked Harry where his wand was and Harry had told him that it had been lost after he had died. Sirius had been full of disappointment and grief for a lost item he didn’t even remember how to use. Nonetheless, he nodded, enthusiastic and ready to learn.

“Did you find me a wand?” Sirius asked.

“Oh, yes.” Harry reached into his robes and fumbled around before pulling out a long wand with a slight bend to it, reminding Sirius somewhat of a bird’s talon.

Sirius held his hand out for it, ready to take it when Severus spoke up.

"Potter, it is abundantly apparent that any remaining brain cells you may have possessed have been destroyed by years of misuse. That wand should have been destroyed along with its original owner."

Harry looked sheepishly at Severus and gave a shrug. “I didn’t know that was really necessary.”

“Dunderhead,” Severus mumbled.

“Is it necessary? I mean, I don’t exactly have an abundance of wands at the ready. This is all I have.” Harry asked with concern.

Severus rolled his eyes. “Perhaps not. But the wand doesn’t have a proper owner now; it’s not going to work properly for Black.”

“I thought that maybe Bellatrix’s wand will work better for Sirius because of the blood relation.”

Sirius stood there, going ignored by the other two as they began to argue. Bellatrix was a name he hadn’t heard before, but he was somehow related to her.

“You really think it’s a good idea to have Black use the same wand that killed him?” Severus snapped irritated at Harry.

Harry’s eyes widened and he glanced over at Sirius nervous and worried. “Severus, not in front of him.”

But it was too late, Sirius had already heard. He reached out and snatched the wand where Harry held it loosely in his hand. Slowly he examined it over with awe. “This is the wand that killed me?”

“Sirius,” Harry reached out and gently touched his shoulder. Sirius guessed he was expecting him to burst into tears or something. React somehow. But Sirius just stared at the wand in his hands, not knowing what to think.

Severus snorted. “Didn’t do a very good job, did it?”

Sirius looked up. Severus was just staring at the wand with a great distaste. Sirius laughed. He couldn’t help it. He didn’t know if Severus was joking or not, but the man’s bitter tone and displeasure amused Sirius, and he couldn’t contain it.

“No, can’t say it did.” Sirius agreed with a chuckle. “It wiped my memory pretty well though.” He took a proper grip of the wand. It didn’t quite feel right in his hand, almost wrong, but there was nothing to be said about it. Harry said he didn’t have anything else, so this was just going to have to work for now.

Harry looked nervous. “Well, I have to be getting back to the ministry. Are—are you two going to be ok alone?”

“We’ll be fine, Potter, get out.”

Harry gave Sirius a quick awkward hug. “I’ll be back later. Good luck with him.” He nodded towards Severus and left before Sirius could even wonder why he’d need luck.

~*~

Severus sat in a chair at a table in the Noble House of Black library, a book in hand as Sirius stood not too far from him practicing a summoning charm. Bellatrix’s wand was by no means, perfect for Black, but it seemed to be doing the job. Over the past few days Black and he had fallen into a routine. They would go to the library, Severus would give him some spells to practice and he would sit there and read as Black waved his wand around wildly. Black had proven to be eager to regain the ability to use magic, and despite the substandard wand, he was quickly picking it up.

Severus was also finding Black’s company oddly palatable. Black was, of course, still an arrogant arse and an imbecile. He was still Black after all; a loss of memory did nothing to change his personality. However, when that big headed ego wasn’t directed towards him specifically, he found it much easer to get along with the man.

The only thing Severus really felt he had a legitimate reason to complain about was all of Black’s questions. He was full of them, and it quickly became obvious that Severus was the only one willing to honestly answer. Black liked asking about the war, how he had died, and what Potter was up to, among other things.

Although to be frank, Severus wasn’t always completely honest with his answer, taking some liberty with them. His form of pay back, if you will. He quite enjoyed the wide eyed look Black would give him, so full of innocence and so quick to believe every word he said.

It was only fortunate that Black hadn’t yet asked about their shaky past. He had come close a few times. When he had asked about his relationship with Potter, and he had explained to Black that he was his godson and that he was best mates with the boy’s father, he was sure Black would ask more questions, but he had just nodded and continued practicing his levitation charm.

Black had also asked about this Hogwarts that he had heard mentioned several times, as was prone to happen when the discussion of the war came up. Severus had told him it was a school that taught magic, Black had asked if he had gone there as a kid, and he had replied with a simple yes. Black then went on to ask if that was how they had met and when he replied with a simple yes again, he was sure that Black would ask more about the school or their initial meeting, but instead, he had smiled and began asking about the Ministry of Magic.

Severus could almost think that Black was avoiding the subject of their past, if not for the fact that the idea sounded so ridiculous. It seemed more likely that he just couldn’t keep up with Black’s thought process.

Still, it was only a matter of time before the questions would start, and Severus wasn’t certain just how honest he planned on being with his answers. He had spent years, maintaining a strong hatred towards Black, and now he was able to stay in the same room with the man without so much as a little spat. And since Black was less of a twit as of late, he had to remind himself why he had agreed to this in the first place. He wanted his petty revenge.

And if any time was the perfect opportunity for his self-indulgent revenge for the years of torment, it would be when Black began asking questions about their relationship. It was his due after all. He would tell himself all of this, but then Black would say something surprisingly witty, and Severus would find himself reconsidering the plan.

He had spent many hours forming the plan in his head, and after all that time, he couldn’t, wouldn’t simply back down from it.

Severus looked up from his book when he heard a thunk. Black had the wand pointed at a bookshelf and was trying to accio one after the other, the books flying half way across the room before falling to the floor with a thud.

“Keep practicing,” Severus said, turning back to his book.

Black sighed, and lowered his wand and pulled out a chair to sit down at the table with Severus, and threw the wand on the table. “I need a break. I honestly think if I had a decent wand, I’d have already mastered the spell.”

Severus hummed in response, not looking up from his book.

Black rapped his fingers against the wooden table. Severus could sense a game of 20 questions about to start. He found a place in his book to stop, and waited.

“Severus,” Sirius began and it still took him off guard how the man could so casually use his given name. “I’ve been meaning to ask you, why do you only call me Black? Why not Sirius, like everyone else?”

“I have always called you Black, since the day we met.” Severus replied, wondering if now was going to be the day Sirius asked about their past. He prepared himself for the questions.

“Since the day we met?” Black smiled. “You haven’t told me how we met.”

“You’ve never specifically asked about it before,” Severus closed his book and set it down on the table.

“I’m asking now.” Black sat on the edge of his seat, excited to hear the story. “How did we know each other before I died and lost all my memory?”

There was a certain amount of satisfaction that came to Severus knowing that whatever he told Black now, Black would have no reason not to believe him. It was empowering, how easily he could manipulate the man. And now, Black was beginning to ask questions, making it the ideal opportunity for him to begin his trivial revenge.

“We were lovers,” Severus replied in a simple, matter of fact tone.

“Lovers?” Black asked, the word not falling off his tongue easily. The smile left his face and he looked at Severus with a furrowed brow.

“Yes, lovers. You are aware of what that means, correct?”

“I’m gay?” Black then asked, giving Severus a good once over. He looked pensive for a brief moment, before saying with a nod, “I can see why.”

The comment took Severus completely off guard. He stared at Black, dumbfounded, almost positive that the man had hinted at finding him attractive. It was not what he had been expecting. At the most, he had expected Black to start laughing, denounce that he was gay, and that would be that.

But now, he was looking at Severus, appraising him with his eyes. Innocent eyes that, Severus reminded himself would have no recollection of any past relationships. No memories of sex, no memories of kissing, touching, stroking…

Severus swallowed, surprised as his body reacted to his racing thoughts. Thoughts he would never, ever have considered having towards Black.

Black seemed none the wiser. He was still looking at Severus, his approving look turning into a frown. “If we were lovers, why would you call me Black? Don’t lovers call each other by their first names?”

Now was Severus’ chance to come clean, laugh in Sirius face and call him gullible. He hadn’t thought this far into his plan. He had honestly thought that having a laugh at Black’s expense would be gratifying enough, and maybe he would do it a few more times. But now, his mind couldn’t get over the thought of how completely virgin Black was. He wanted to see just how far he could push it. And just like that, a new plan formed in his mind instantly.

“Well, we weren’t always lovers, obviously.” Severus made sure to roll his eyes. “You were an arrogant arse when we first met. You still are one, for that matter.”

Black only grinned. “Oh, but you like my arse, don’t you? Since we’re lovers and all.”

“And remarks like that are exactly why you are an arse.”

Black let out a bark of a laugh. “Alright, so I’m an arse. How did we get together then?”

“Unexpectedly,” Severus replied.

“That’s not much of a story, Severus.” Black sounded disappointed.

“No,” Severus agreed. “If you were expecting a romantic love story, you will be greatly disappointed.”

The smile left Black’s face and for a moment, Severus wondered if he had offended him, but then reminded himself that he didn’t care.

“Were you sad when I died?” Black asked, and once again Severus was taken completely off guard.

“I was angry,” Severus replied. It wasn’t an outright lie, but it wasn’t the truth either. Severus had barely given a moment thought over Black’s death. He had only been angry at Potter for being such a conceited brat and rushing off to the ministry with his little friends, putting several people in danger.

“Is that why you didn’t want to do this?” Black asked, so quietly Severus had to strain his ears to hear. “Because you were mad at me for leaving you all of the sudden like that?”

He should have predicted that Black would be an over sentimental Gryffindor. He considered once again ending the whole charade, but he was still curious to see how far he could push this.

“Yes. Now you’ve taken a long enough break, back to practice.” He said, leaving no room for argument.

Black picked up his wand and got back to his feet. “Yes, sir,” he said mockingly, and picked up his practice right where he left off.

Severus had a brief thought, wondering just what he got himself into before he picked his book up off the table, opened it back up, and started to read.

Continue to part 2

Mods, could I please get an amnesia tag, and a sb/ss tag?  Thank you.