Kink Questions and Discussion Post

[kinkfest-mod.livejournal.com]

This post is for anyone who has questions about the kink they're writing/drawing that they'd like to have answered by someone in the comm. If you have a question, whether it's specific (how many times can you whip someone before they start to bleed?) or general (I don't understand the appeal of watersports. Will someone explain it to me?) here is the place to ask it. Watchers, if you see a question to can answer, please do so! (But please, be respectful of other peoples' kinks. Experiences and preferences will differ greatly from one person to the next.) Anonymous commenting is enabled for anyone who wants to keep their kink a secret. ;-)

ETA: This post is intended to aide writers and artists who are participating in hp_kinkfest, not as a source for personal inquiries.

Also, if you haven't yet offered to beta but would like to, please see our sign-up page here. Thank you!

Comments

[girlofavalon.livejournal.com]

It's kinda a question. What's watersports?

I recall I have prompted it, but now I am wondering whether it is what I think it is. I couldn't find the answer anywhere.

[vaysh]

Any erotic/sexual act where piss comes into play, being pissed on (golden showers), drinking piss, not letting someone take a piss. That's how I understand it. :)

[madam-minnie.livejournal.com]

Watersports generally refers to Golden Showers or the sexual gratification taken from being urinated on. It's also known as Urolagnia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Urolagnia)

[girlofavalon.livejournal.com]

Oh...

It's not what I was thinking :( Darn! I am so, sooooo, embarrassed now! I don't even what a goddamn kink is.

[girlofavalon.livejournal.com]

It's definitely different from what I had surmised. *blushes* Thanks anyway!

[vaysh]

Perhaps I am wrong. :) What did you think it was?

[girlofavalon.livejournal.com]

I don't believe you are wrong, as I've alredy got two responses saying the same.

I thought it was the same as an enema. I had thought of water in the literal sense. Sometimes I get things in the literal sense when it's not. It's so annoying.

EDIT: but now, thinking of it, golden showers makes more sense ;)

[rainien.livejournal.com]

Not a question. More a link suggestion. Once upon a time I did a bit of educational BDSM writing for a now-defunct website. If there was one reference link I used more often than any other, it'd have to be the Dictionary of BDSM Terms (http://www.xeromag.com/fvbdglossary.html). It's got very clearly-worded definitions for just about any kink you can think of - sometimes with photos!

[marguerite-26.livejournal.com]

You are by far not the first person to ask that question. I'm sure many have read a fic expecting kinky!pool!sex and got a little squicked. ;)

Let's just say there are no dumb questions in this thread. It's all about learning.

[girlofavalon.livejournal.com]

:) Well, I hadn't thought of pool!sex either...

And don't worry. I just don't like to pass a bill. But yeah, it's all about learning!

[marguerite-26.livejournal.com]

Oh! great link. Thanks so much for that.

[potteresque_ire]

I used to think watersports is another name for water polo. Trufax.

In my defence.... the shower is only golden if the person who turns in on hasn't drank enough water and the, er, bilirubin levels in the fluid is high. If it is REALLY golden, the person should go to Mdm Pomprey to get his liver checked before getting all hot and bothered! Silver showers are much preferred. Or rather silverblond showers, since a bit of yellow is inevitable....

"It matches your hair", Harry said to Draco.

(Hee! Please excuse my silliness today :))

[marguerite-26.livejournal.com]

*diez*

I suddenly want to write a 'don't eat too much vitamin C before watersports experiments' fic.

[eruditefics.livejournal.com]

Hey guys! I've got topping from the bottom, and I've written it. The person wanted Draco to be the bottomly top, but a surprise plot prevented me from doing so. It wasn't a very clear preference, Harry could be bottomy top if he wanted to.

So here's my question, what makes topping from the bottom especially kinky or important to the point where someone would request it? I just want to make sure I covered it correctly.

[literaryspell.livejournal.com]

Oh, I like this! *devours*

[reikokatsura.livejournal.com]

Oops!

And thanks for telling me >.>

[reikokatsura.livejournal.com]

Aside from the sexy visual? Lol. I can't speak for everyone, but the idea of (and I don't mean to be crude) fucking someone, which is usually seen as a dominant role, from the bottom-- obviously seen as the submissive's position-- is really hot. It's like the one receiving being on top-- a turn of power. Seeing the dominant in a submissive's position while still remaining as dominant is bloody hot.

(Do note, though, I don't think that the one who penetrates in sex is generally the "dominant" =p )

[ashe-frost.livejournal.com]

o.0

I'm going to spend the rest of my night plotting really kinky porn now.

This is a great resource! Thanks for sharing!

[woldy]

I think this term has two meanings: 1) penetrative sex where the partner being penetrated (i.e. bottom) is on top; 2) D/S where the sub ends up controlling the relationship (as explained here). I associate this term with meaning 2) which is what 'topping from the bottom' refers to in a kink context, and what I find appealing is the powerplay between a tentative dom and a bratty sub. A lot of people in fandom seem to associate the term with meaning 1) though, even though that's a sexual position & not really a kink.

[woldy]

Dom and Sub don't need to relate to bondage and SM, it can be just about who is dominant and who is submissive in the relationship i.e. about the head space. As I see it, either 'topping from the bottom' uses top and bottom to refer to who is being penetrated, OR it uses those terms to who is dominant and who is submissive. Trying to use the term in both senses simultaneously sounds massively confusing to me, not least because there's no correlation between whether one is a Dom or Sub and whether one is choosing to penetrate or be penetrated in a given sexual context - that's a stereotype (although I hear that it's a popular theme in yaoi). It's your fic & your call, but I wouldn't conflate sexual positions with D/S roles.

I don't really understand your hypothetical scenario because the words top and bottom are ambiguous (see previous comment), but it doesn't sound to me as though that would involve topping from the bottom in the DS sense. In the DS sense, any sub who is being ordered around by a dominant top is just a bottom, whereas a bottom who manipulates the dom so that they get their own way all the time is topping from the bottom (i.e. is secretly being dominant when they're supposed to be being submissive). Moreover, the person on top during sex generally has most of the control over the pace, angle etc so I'm not seeing the loss of control or mindfuck element.

[inspired-ideas.livejournal.com]

Depending on the definition used, it doesn't necessarily have to do with the top being in a submission position. It's often a kink about the person who is actively engaged in the submission position (bottom) attempting to tell the person who is in the dominant position (top) what to do and how to do it, instead of surrendering full control to the dominant partner.

So, while this is one of those things that can mean different things to different people, here are few reasons a couple might find it incredibly kinky and arousing:

1. The top enjoys the challenge of keeping a bottom who is mouthy, and/or pushy under control.
2. The bottom likes to test limits and boundaries by pushing the top. This sometimes plays out where the couple enjoys turning the bottom's attempt to top into a situation where the bottom is punished for it.
3. The top enjoys teasing the bottom until he or she is aroused to the point that the bottom starts making demands of the top, such as use the flogger, hit me harder, make me...whatever.

[iniq.livejournal.com]

XD I remember your prompt! It asked for watersports and a lake or the ocean or any body of water. I remember stopping and wondering... *g*
But then, maybe Draco gets off when he sees Harry snorkel. ;)

Awww, but don't worry. Sometimes it's good you don't know all kinks. There's one where you stuff salad and cheese into a woman's vagina and call it a taco. :/

[kinkfest-mod.livejournal.com]

I can see from the comment there seems to be a lot of different definitions of 'bottomy top' and 'topping from the bottom'. If you would like to contract the prompter to get clarification on what he or she meant, feel free to comment anonymously directly to the prompt (if you can find it!) or ask the mods to contact the prompter.

Thanks! Maggie

[girlofavalon.livejournal.com]

Did someone ask that? It wasn't me! XD

[iniq.livejournal.com]

Oh! That wasn't you?
Yeah, someone did! I was wondering if they knew what watersports were. Or maybe that person has their own definition, too! I'm not touching that one. :D

[girlofavalon.livejournal.com]

LOL. Yeah, who knows?

Mine had watersports as marking territory, just like marguerite_26's one. Well, I thought watersports and enema were the same thing, and tbh I don't know how an enema would be marking territory, but... :P I wouldn't complain if someone managed.

[iniq.livejournal.com]

Someone would manage! Enema is always hot. :3

I wrote for spn_blindfold and someone there asked for "chaining" (which supposedly means the insertion of a chain in someone's anus) - I searched everywhere and never even found any evidence that kink even exists. (Still, writing it was oddly hot. XD *facepalm*)

[girlofavalon.livejournal.com]

Wow... *shivers* I can imagine it was hot, though. I just read it once and, although painful because of the context, it was hot.

[iniq.livejournal.com]

You read that somewhere? Awesome! :o
That's the first time I've heard that kink really exists! You don't by any chance remember where you saw that, do you?

[girlofavalon.livejournal.com]

I don't remember the fic, but it was on Adult Fanfiction. It was not nice, though. Draco was being a hostage to the DE's and they used him and all that. The "chaining" was from Lucius, and the chain was rusty...

[iniq.livejournal.com]

Eugh! :o So maybe it's better I never see that. (Haha, who am I kidding. Of course I'm going to look for it. Thanks for giving me a starting point!)

[lavillanueva.livejournal.com]

So I didn't know it was called "chaining" (though I suppose the name is quite apt!), but I have seen this (in vids, not fic). I actually thought it was more like a cost-effective string of anal beads, heh. Pretty hot though!

[iniq.livejournal.com]

Oh, cool!

I remember back then I looked for stuff online, but didn't find anything. So I just made shit up. (Which, I believe, I what kinkfests are all about anyway.)

I never even thought about looking for videos. Hmmm~ this opens up possibilities for loads of inspiration. (I am working on a third kinkfest story, after all. I need inspiration for the threesome part, though and it's just not coming. *headdesk* YouPorn might help. Thanks!)

[lavillanueva.livejournal.com]

Yeah, it was pretty cool. I love learning about new kinks. Another reason why kinkfests are awesome. :D (Although I think I'd die of embarrassment if anyone knew what I wrote for blindfold, lol)

Videos are a great way to go, especially amateur ones as they give you a more honest portrayal of what the kink 'really' looks like. The ones I watched were on XTube, actually, but something weird happened to that site back in November and almost all of their BDSM vids are gone. Sadface. I wish you luck though!

[iniq.livejournal.com]

Yeah! I never claimed my fics there either. (Knowing you were there, too, I regret admitting to that chaining story now. Uh. Oh. Forget I said anything!) I do hope there will be another round soon, though. Mmmm, blindfold. I love that comm. I always wait for an entry to pop up on my flist, telling me we can go again. :3

XTube... I guess it's still a starting point. Thank you!