Wow, nice dark piece! Nice showcase of the blood and Harry's increasing enjoyment of it.
I'm not sure if you did this deliberately or not, but there are several sentences here that just require a little punctuation to be "normal". No formatting allows those phrases to run together, making the prose faster; maybe that is what you were going for?
Anyway, I really liked it. Thanks for sharing in the fest!
no subject
Date: 2011-02-18 06:27 am (UTC)I'm not sure if you did this deliberately or not, but there are several sentences here that just require a little punctuation to be "normal". No formatting allows those phrases to run together, making the prose faster; maybe that is what you were going for?
Anyway, I really liked it. Thanks for sharing in the fest!